If you can believe there is such a thing! ...

The Stanford Linear Accelerator Centre was known as SLAC, until the big earthquake, when it became known as SPLAC.
SPLAC? Stanford Piecewise Linear Accelerator.

A student recognizes Einstein in a train and asks: "Excuse me, professor, but does New York stop by this train?"

Researchers in Fairbanks Alaska announced last week that they have discovered a superconductor which will operate at room temperature. The answer to the problem was 'log(1+x)'. A student copied the answer from the good student next to him, but didn't want to make it obvious that he was cheating, so he changed the answer slightly, to 'timber(1+x)'

The experimentalist comes running excitedly into the theorist's office, waving a graph taken off his latest experiment. 'Hmmm,' says the theorist, 'That's exactly where you'd expect to see that peak. Here's the reason (long logical explanation follows).' In the middle of it, the experimentalist says 'Wait a minute', studies the chart for a second, and says, 'Oops, this is upside down.' He fixes it. 'Hmmm,' says the theorist, 'you'd expect to see a dip in exactly that position. Here's the reason...'.

Why did the chicken cross the road?
Isaac Newton: Chickens at rest tend to stay at rest, chickens in motion tend to cross roads.

W hy did the chicken cross the road? Albert Einstein said  Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road crossed the chicken depends entirely upon your frame of reference.

A neutron walks into a bar and asks the barman, "How much for a beer?" The barman looks at him, and says "For you, no charge."

Two fermions walk into a bar. One orders a drink. The other says ="'I'll have what he's having."

Two atoms bump into each other. One says 'I think I lost an electron!' The other asks, 'Are you sure?', to which the first replies, 'I'm positive.'

Heisenberg is out for a drive when he's stopped by a traffic policeman. The policeman says 'Do you know how fast you were going?' Heisenberg says 'No, but I know where I am.'

[Credit to physlink.com and Paul Ruffle]